Relationship Series Post Number 3...

Blessed are the Meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5)

Meek is a dirty word in our culture. Partly because we don't know what it means. Partly because we don't like the implication of what it does mean. And partly because we have an over developed sense of personal vindication.

Meek does not mean weak. It means "Power under restraint." the idea of meekness is a powerful stallion submitting to the bit in its mouth. Or an ox submitting itself to the direction given it by a yoke. It actually assumes great power. but that power is kept under control - for the best outcome of the situation. Meekness is not about personal benefit, but what we must always understand is that the common good actually improves my position in life no matter what the world would tell us. As the whole improves, my position improves with it.

And Jesus alludes t this. He says, when we keep our power under control for the good of those around us, we will inherit the earth. As Americans, we have an over developed sense of vindication, justice, and pressing our own rights. And what we are seeing is that as we choose to press our own rights globally, the rest of the world looks at us and doesn't like the US. We are called arrogant and boastful.. Is it true? probably not. Mostly not... but we appear that way because we do not keep our power under control. We leverage our position to increase our position. That will never work.

I am no political expert nor do I care to engage in a political discussion. What I can say is that there is example after example of people pressing their own rights through out history. It never works.

In relationship, we cannot be overly concerned with being right. I often meet with marriages that are in crisis. And I often say in those meetings, "Do you want to be happy? Or do you want to be right?" We get so consumed with pressing our part of an argument that we lose the reality that even if we are proven right, we will be more miserable than if we just let ourselves be wrong.

So often, I see in my own life a need to be vindicated. Justice must be served! I am right and that is that. And this notion.. this posture, is a direct afront to real genuine relationship. So the very thing that I am craving becomes the very thing that I take away from myself. That is my trophy for correctness. I am right, but alone - and miserable.

When I stay meek - power stays under control - I inherit more than I could ever imagine. So, may you be focused more on being Godly than being right. May you keep the power that you have to control people emotionally and physically under restraint. And may you experience the reality that giving your life to making people better actually makes your life better as well.

Relationship Series Post 2...

One of the big components of relational alignment is transparency...

The problem with transparency is that it takes risk. Risk is something that as a rule we try to minimize in our lives. Even those who like risk in certain areas of their life whether that be investing or amusement parks, still try to minimize the pain that risk in relationship causes.

We try this in several ways... when someone shares a transparent or risky piece of themselves with us, we tend to either try to "fix" it or "rescue" them. When we try to take risk in relationship we often feel minimized or mistreated. either way, we don't desire to go back there again. It is awkward and difficult. But when it is dealt with well, it is one of the most powerful things that there is to experience.

In Matthew 5, Jesus gives us 9 statements that turn the world upside down. the second of those is "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." I want to talk about this word comfort... it is the future tense of the word "paraklete" which is a compound word meaning to call alongside. Jesus is conveying the idea that when we mourn, we do not have to do it alone. because God will provide the Holy Spirit and others who will journey along side us through it. Comfort does not mean that we can fix or rescue. We cannot take another's pain; or even make it less for that matter. But we can walk with them through it.

The only thing is, we have to know where each other's hurts are. that takes risk. So comfort comes from risk. Comfort comes from transparency. And often the most risk finds the most comfort. So may you be pushed to take risk... and may you find the comfort that your soul desperately needs.