Relationship Series Post Number 3...

Blessed are the Meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5)

Meek is a dirty word in our culture. Partly because we don't know what it means. Partly because we don't like the implication of what it does mean. And partly because we have an over developed sense of personal vindication.

Meek does not mean weak. It means "Power under restraint." the idea of meekness is a powerful stallion submitting to the bit in its mouth. Or an ox submitting itself to the direction given it by a yoke. It actually assumes great power. but that power is kept under control - for the best outcome of the situation. Meekness is not about personal benefit, but what we must always understand is that the common good actually improves my position in life no matter what the world would tell us. As the whole improves, my position improves with it.

And Jesus alludes t this. He says, when we keep our power under control for the good of those around us, we will inherit the earth. As Americans, we have an over developed sense of vindication, justice, and pressing our own rights. And what we are seeing is that as we choose to press our own rights globally, the rest of the world looks at us and doesn't like the US. We are called arrogant and boastful.. Is it true? probably not. Mostly not... but we appear that way because we do not keep our power under control. We leverage our position to increase our position. That will never work.

I am no political expert nor do I care to engage in a political discussion. What I can say is that there is example after example of people pressing their own rights through out history. It never works.

In relationship, we cannot be overly concerned with being right. I often meet with marriages that are in crisis. And I often say in those meetings, "Do you want to be happy? Or do you want to be right?" We get so consumed with pressing our part of an argument that we lose the reality that even if we are proven right, we will be more miserable than if we just let ourselves be wrong.

So often, I see in my own life a need to be vindicated. Justice must be served! I am right and that is that. And this notion.. this posture, is a direct afront to real genuine relationship. So the very thing that I am craving becomes the very thing that I take away from myself. That is my trophy for correctness. I am right, but alone - and miserable.

When I stay meek - power stays under control - I inherit more than I could ever imagine. So, may you be focused more on being Godly than being right. May you keep the power that you have to control people emotionally and physically under restraint. And may you experience the reality that giving your life to making people better actually makes your life better as well.

Relationship Series Post 2...

One of the big components of relational alignment is transparency...

The problem with transparency is that it takes risk. Risk is something that as a rule we try to minimize in our lives. Even those who like risk in certain areas of their life whether that be investing or amusement parks, still try to minimize the pain that risk in relationship causes.

We try this in several ways... when someone shares a transparent or risky piece of themselves with us, we tend to either try to "fix" it or "rescue" them. When we try to take risk in relationship we often feel minimized or mistreated. either way, we don't desire to go back there again. It is awkward and difficult. But when it is dealt with well, it is one of the most powerful things that there is to experience.

In Matthew 5, Jesus gives us 9 statements that turn the world upside down. the second of those is "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." I want to talk about this word comfort... it is the future tense of the word "paraklete" which is a compound word meaning to call alongside. Jesus is conveying the idea that when we mourn, we do not have to do it alone. because God will provide the Holy Spirit and others who will journey along side us through it. Comfort does not mean that we can fix or rescue. We cannot take another's pain; or even make it less for that matter. But we can walk with them through it.

The only thing is, we have to know where each other's hurts are. that takes risk. So comfort comes from risk. Comfort comes from transparency. And often the most risk finds the most comfort. So may you be pushed to take risk... and may you find the comfort that your soul desperately needs.

Relationship Series; Post Number 1

So I want to do a series of posts on different aspects of relationship. Hopefully, we can refine and focus our ideas and our actions concerning relationship.

I have an amazing privilege to travel and visit with other churches about the story of Real Life Ministries from our early days in Post Falls up to today and the church planting parts and the differences is different communities and all that God has done. The Real Life association does a series of training called Immersion 1, 2, and 3. In Immersion 1, we talk about areas of alignment that help make disciples who can disciple.

There are four areas that we need alignment in order to succeed as a church: Philosophical, Organizational, Theological, and Relational. In my opinion, the foundation of all of this is relational alignment. without that, we cannot accomplish anything. With relational alignment, even if we don't agree, we can part as friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and protect God's reputation.

Relational alignment with those who call themselves followers of Jesus is key to growing as a disciple. yes we need to know God and develop our relationship with Him, but the out pouring of that relationship is always relationship with others... this is what 1 John says... If we walk in the light as HE is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.

So to begin the discussion, I would like to get your take on what relationship means. what does it mean to have relationship? Play nice - this will shape the rest of the discussion.

What do I offer?

John 15:1-17 (New International Version, ©2011)

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

So, I grew up in the church. What is more, I grew up in a Preacher's home. What is more, I grew up in the home of a person with the gift of Evangelism. That didn't work out too well for me. I am not a "gifted" evangelist. Though I am proud of my God, and have no problem sharing my faith, I find myself struggling to be that guy who we revere in the American church world... the guy who can stand on the street corner and people come to know Jesus. And they passionately preach about evangelizing the world - and I am convicted. But when I try to do it the way they are saying it, it is awkward for me, it is awkward for the person I am talking to and it doesn't work.

I take solace in Jesus' words. "If you remain in Me, and My words remain in you, you will bear much fruit... fruit that will last." So my question is - what is the fruit of my relationship with Jesus? What is my fruit that remains? And more than that... what does it mean to remain in Jesus as the vine? I have no problem talking about God, my faith, and the hope I have in Christ. But it is most effective and most natural for me in the context of relationship. So where does my fruit remain? Long after I am gone, what will be said of me? This is the lasting impression that I can leave simply by remaining in Christ and allowing Him to direct my paths.

That, by the way, is not an inactive or lazy approach to Christianity. In fact, it is quite the opposite. But it is a focused way to be engaged in remaining in the vine, and producing fruit that will remain. this is at the heart of living by faith.

So, may you find yourself remaining in the vine. And may you produce fruit that lasts. When you are long gone from this life, may you be remembered for the fruit that God prepared for you to produce before the world existed.