That has to be exhausting...

So, I have become aware of something that I struggle with.  All this week I have had the amazing opportunity to see how I react "under the microscope."  And while I am not super pleased with what it does inside of me, the reason for the feelings I get when I feel examined has eluded me.  I think perhaps I have cracked the door on a bit of it... maybe this can encourage you as well.

I am an optimist. I really do tend to see the potential in situations.  Often that is at the expense of the reality of what is actually going to happen.  But I love to see things move forward, progress and succeed.  It is inspiring to know that where I am is not where I have to stay.  I can choose to be something more.  And I get that reinforced anytime someone pushes through or overcomes or gets their break. I love that sense that there is still good in the world. It gives me hope.

In the year 2000, M. Night Shymalan came out with a movie entitled "Unbreakable."  The premise of the movie was that this man in the opening scene seems to be able to never get sick and has almost super human strength.  While across town there is a very fragile man that breaks bones very easily.  This fragile man has a theory that in the world there are opposites.  And he searches out this unbreakable man and as the story unfolds.

I think that at least in my particular context, the premise of that movie is true. If I am an optimist that believes in the potential of people, there must be those out there who see the world and everything in it from the downside. The potential train wreck of every situation is their reality.  For these people, everyone is is waiting around to hurt them, to take advantage of them, or to use them to get ahead.  That has to be exhausting!

So let's get back to my epiphany...

When it is me who is under the microscope and I see these folks who are less than optimistic surface and critique, and complain, and try to cause dissension, I am extremely affected.  It hurts - deeply. I am treated as a faceless entity, not a real person with real feelings and a real story who is really just trying to figure out how to make sense of this life.  I am treated as an obstacle, a thing to be questioned, a situation in which someone else must find a loophole in order to bring my "lofty" thoughts or ideas back down to earth.  And how dare I ever think of changing anything - whether that change truly affects another person or not.  That has to be exhausting!

The story of Jonah invites us to see people from God's perspective.  Jonah gets angry that God forgives the Ninevites when they repented. God essentially says to Jonah that He had to do something because there are 120,000 people in Nineveh and cattle besides.  They are full of potential and because God sees them that way we should, too.  

So, do we see people as full of potential? Or are people a problem waiting to happen?

But I still haven't shared my epiphany...

The thing I have realized is that when people see me from the perspective of the non-optistic person, it drains my hope.  Maybe I AM wrong.  Maybe I AM evil.  Maybe I AM never going to be good enough. Maybe I AM all the bad things they say I am. And I leave moments where this perspective is revealed to me about me a little less alive, less willing to love, to risk - less willing to truly live.  And I know that is exhausting!

I want people to leave a conversation with me more alive than when they started.  I want people to see the real beauty of the world and all that it is.  I want people to hope for a better tomorrow than today was.  That isn't exhausting - it gives me life!

I choose to see the wonder of this world. I choose to see the work of the divine all around us.  I choose to invite people to a better tomorrow by being a part of a new resurrection that is bursting forth right in the midst of this one.  I choose to put God's peace on display to the best of my ability in every moment of every day.  My hope is that people are better for having known me.

May you be inspired to see the potential in the world and in those around you. And may it give you life - today and eternally.