Psalm 56...

Psalm 56 (New International Version, ©2010)

1 Be merciful to me, my God,
for my enemies are in hot pursuit;
all day long they press their attack.
2 My adversaries pursue me all day long;
in their pride many are attacking me.

3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?

5 All day long they twist my words;
all their schemes are for my ruin.
6 They conspire, they lurk,
they watch my steps,
hoping to take my life.
7 Because of their wickedness do not let them escape;
in your anger, God, bring the nations down.

8 Record my misery;
list my tears on your scroll—
are they not in your record?
9 Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.

10 In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise—
11 in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can man do to me?

12 I am under vows to you, my God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
13 For you have delivered me from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

This is my favorite chapter of the Bible. There was a period of time where I refused to preach. I got to the place where I got hives from the anxiety that came with getting up and preaching. I could not do it any more. I could not handle that no matter what I said or how I said it, someone had a problem with it. And it hurts when someone dehumanizes me enough to feel comfortable chewing me up in front of other people. I could not deal with the feeling of rejection. I could not endure one more negative comment from someone who had the spiritual maturity of a child. So, for 2 and a half years, I did not preach. Then I found Psalm 56....

...All day long they twist my words... my adversaries pursue me all day long... BUT I WILL TRUST IN THE LORD - WHAT CAN MORTAL MAN DO TO ME?

So, now I preach every week. And every Sunday, probably for the rest of my life, right before I preach I want to run. I do not want to own the responsibility of bringing the truth out of the Scripture. Because I know what is in store. It still eats at me. I still lose sleep. I still feel very insecure at times because I have people trying to twist what I say. And they often try to blame me for the work of the Spirit bringing conviction into their lives. While I am flattered that they would give me that much credit, there is nothing that I can say or do to bring conviction in anyone's life. That is solely the work of the Holy Spirit. And I just wish they would do the hard work with Him and not take out on me. But, I have not yet had that luxury.

I love the last section of this Psalm:

I am under vows to you, my God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

So, honestly, I struggle. I would much rather have a job in the Kingdom where there was not so much controversy. I wold love to be the one who just encourages people and loves people. That would be so much easier than dealing with holding people accountable to the truth. I would sleep better. But that is not what the Lord has called me to. And because my life is not my own, I am under vows to God, I will fulfill my duty to the Lord with a joyful heart. And I am honored that He would use me at all. And because I trust that He is good and that He knows and wants my best life for me, I am willing to obey, even though I don't always understand how this is better. I guess that is at the heart of faith.

So with that being said, I am the Lord's to do with as He sees fit. And if He desires for me to be taken out of ministry, it is His to decide not mine. So, I am invincible until He is done with me. And on that day, He can take me home, move me, whatever He chooses. But until then, I will preach the truth - in love. And if the devil thinks that trying take me out is the best way to hurt the Kingdom, then he is welcome to try. Not that I am begging for a fight, but I have no choice in light of all that God has done for me other than to fight. "What can mortal man do to me?"

So I will continue to preach - hives and all!

May we all see the battle for what it is. And may each of us trust in the goodness of our God who stores up all our tears. May we cry deeply, love fully, and preach powerfully concerning the truth of the Scripture. And most of all, may we never allow mortal men to stop the work of God in our lives. See you on Sunday...