So, upon reflection, yesterday wasn't my best sermon. And to confirm that were 3 emails and 2 face to face conversations where people let me know that it was not my best sermon. It is always nice to come home and sit with that reality (yes that was sarcasm).
I didn't communicate clearly. Maybe I wasn't prepared enough or maybe my mind wasn't in the right place. Maybe I didn't pray enough… I don't know. What I know is - it wasn't my best sermon, and people made sure to let me know.
Here is the funny thing… there is a shift in me that I have never experienced before.
Any preacher will tell you that the absolute worst day of the week is Monday. For me, I feel like I have been drug through a knot hole. And if for some reason I miss getting a nap on Sunday afternoon, well, let's just say that staff meeting the next morning isn't pleasant for anyone.
I have heard many a preacher say that they write their resignation letter every Monday. Or at least that they pull it out and dust it off.
Sundays are hard days in general. I had this conversation with my kids yesterday on the way home. Whoever penned the song lyrics "Easy like a Sunday morning" was NOT in the ministry!
It is extra hard when I feel like I have freshly poured out my heart, and I get an immediate negative response. How does one recover from that? When I preach, it isn't as if I am just throwing out random thoughts about life. I always try to talk about how the passage has sifted my own soul. This is not just a text conversation. It is a piece of me - every week. I believe that I bring glory to God by doing this.
So when 3 emails and 2 conversations tell me that piece of my soul wasn't as good as it should have been, it isn't about critiquing words. It is a critique of my soul. And that hurts.
So Monday is resignation day, as a rule. And while I don't think that any of these preachers actually follow through with resigning, I can see why they want to.
And now to the shift in me…
Normally, I would want to be done as well. Normally, I would want to hold back the next time. Normally, I would be less willing to risk the vulnerable parts of my journey with God.
If they didn't handle that stuff well, then I am sure not going to share "this" piece of me…
This morning I woke up with something bouncing around my head. This notion that perhaps the critique isn't about the sermon and the sermon isn't about my power of speech. And my power of speech isn't about dazzling people to God.
Maybe, God uses these moments in me so that He can refine me to deeper and more profound places of my soul. And maybe people will be able to handle that and maybe people won't be able to handle that, I don't know, but it forces me to face down why I preach at all.
And it forces you to face down why you do what you do as well.
Is the response of people evidence of God's blessing? Or is the response of people God's refining work in me?
Do I only give the deep parts of God's work in me those I can trust, or is God's work in me the message that I give to the world regardless of how they respond?
Do I trust that God can and will accomplish His work? Does He need me to preach at all? Or is it a privilege to tell the world about an agenda for this world that is better and more fulfilling than anything the world has ever known?
Maybe I would add one more to the list of Beatitudes in Matthew 5.
Blessed are the men and women who sit down in the empty, hurtful, lonely mess of resignation day. For they will be refined.
Happy Resignation Day!!!
As we move into Thanksgiving, I am thankful for this day.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
To my friends…followers and non-followers
So, I was raised in the church. I have never known my life without God in it. Not just theoretically, but real and evident. So when people say that they just don't see God, I can't imagine the hole that this would leave in my life if I felt that way.
It gets me thinking… do people know what they are looking for when they make such a statement? And what is more, it gets me thinking about what other areas of my life do I take for granted. And what other claims - false or true - are being made about my worldview, and have no basis in reality. And that leads me to this "open letter."
I believe that people who follow Jesus don't know nearly as much as they think they know about people who do not follow Jesus. And I believe that people who do not follow Jesus don't know nearly as much as they think they know about people who do follow Jesus.
Somebody needs to start the conversation… So, here I am. Let's start. I want to give some treatises that I believe could govern the conversation from the "Christian" worldview.
First, I am sorry that we use statements and phrases that no one really understands.
"come slay us"
"Jesus dwell inside us"
"Holy Spirit move"
"Just let go and let God"
"God won't give you more than you can handle"
I am sure there are LOTS more. But please understand, the Bible is a book full of metaphors and some of those show up in how we talk about God. I am sure that there are better ways to talk about God. Help us find out how to have that conversation better.
Second, you have to understand that my faith is absolutely central to me as a human being.
Lay aside all the creation/evolution, apologetics, and questions about those who have never heard about God in some foreign jungle for just a minute.
I believe that as humans we are drawn to the mysterious and unexplained realities of our life even in the modern world we live in. I believe that the story of God as laid out in the Scripture inspires me to embrace the tension of these unresolved questions. And I believe that my faith in that God strengthens me to endure incredible tragedy when there is no rational explanation.
So, when you attack my faith I will, of course, get defensive. It isn't personal - necessarily. But an attack on my faith is like cutting my heart out and not caring at all about the implications you've caused.
Third, living by faith means that I will do somethings that look crazy.
It doesn't mean that I AM crazy. It is the notion that when I live my life trusting that I know a God who will provide all my needs according to His riches in glory (which the Bible teaches) I will step out and do and say things that defy logic at times. I am not trying to be "weird." I am trying to be faithful.
From my perspective, men and women who do great things and make great differences live by something that is different than logic. They live by conviction. It would seem to me that this is becoming a lost art in our world. And yet those who accomplish great things still have a drive to live motivated by something greater than what we see here and now.
There is a better tomorrow. And my conviction is that when I choose to make decisions based on my convictions regardless of the cost, I help the whole world take one more step toward that better tomorrow.
Yes, I agree that there have been atrocities done in the name of Jesus. And I also believe that those who have leveraged God in order to build their own personal kingdoms will stand before God accountable for that foolish decision. But that doesn't mean that there is no benefit to living by convictions and faith. Throwing the baby to with the bath water makes no sense.
Fourth, I agree that some of the meanest people we know call themselves Christians.
And I am sorry. I am sorry for their actions, their mean words, and their careless attitudes. And while I try to be a good person, just like you, I have been the one at times that has hurt those around me. I am human. I wish I wasn't, but I am. And I am prone to make mistakes. Please forgive me. I am trying.
That being said, that which is worth living for is not given or robbed of validity because of those who choose to not obey it. People can put whatever label on themselves that they choose. Just because you call yourself giraffe doesn't make you one. So rather than trying to decide whether or not a worldview is valuable based on those who call themselves its followers, I would invite you to consider that there are those who do incredible selfless acts of kindness and generosity in the name of Jesus. These actions make the world a better place and are done from a pure heart.
Fifth, The God I love is pulling for our success. He is not mad.
Perceptions of God abound in our culture. And while there are famous preachers and teachers who would invite you to see God as angry at you because of the foolish mistakes you have made (and who wouldn't want to follow that god???) (sarcasm), I believe that the Bible reveals a very different God. He is for you. And again and again the Bible makes sure that you know God is about the redemption of all things, not destruction of evil people.
I want you to know this God. So don't be mad at me when I share my faith with you. I am doing this because I love you… and so does He.
Sixth, The God I love is walking right along side us. He helps us make choices that have a much larger and longer impact than just this moment.
And by the way, this gives me peace regardless of my circumstances. I can rest in the grace of a God who is for me, and with me. He has got this regardless of what pain I am facing on the surface.
Which raises the question about family members and friends that we prayed for and God didn't do what we wanted and so now we are mad so we try to say that we don't believe in Him, but what we mean is that we want to let Him know how disappointed we are that He didn't do what I asked for.
I can relate to this feeling. But my God isn't holding out on me. He know things I don't know. He sees things I don't see. And no matter what anyone tells you, this life here and now is neither the end nor the optimal existence.
Seventh, (and last) The God I love is ahead of us pulling us toward something better.
My firm conviction is that regardless of the pain we are in now, and that pain is real, there is a new morning coming. We will be just fine.
Pain is real. And the longer I am in ministry and I hear the pain of people's stories and how they have carried that pain for years, I am honored to be in the presence of such fortitude. I don't know how they get out of bed in the morning. I am sure I could not.
But pain also isn't the end. The rules of every great story is that right in the middle of the story, everything has to fall apart. If that doesn't happen at all, it is a boring story. If it happens at the end, it is just a tragedy ( I hated Romeo and Juliet for that reason). So everyday, I have to decide… Is my life a tragedy or a great story. The knowledge that my God is ahead of me pulling me to something better is key in helping me tell a good story with my life.
For my Christian friends, please add to the list. Add more foolish Christian phrases and more tenets of the discussion that you would think are necessary.
For my non-Christian friends, do the same. Let's compare the list and see if in the midst of all this, we can't find hope together.
It gets me thinking… do people know what they are looking for when they make such a statement? And what is more, it gets me thinking about what other areas of my life do I take for granted. And what other claims - false or true - are being made about my worldview, and have no basis in reality. And that leads me to this "open letter."
I believe that people who follow Jesus don't know nearly as much as they think they know about people who do not follow Jesus. And I believe that people who do not follow Jesus don't know nearly as much as they think they know about people who do follow Jesus.
Somebody needs to start the conversation… So, here I am. Let's start. I want to give some treatises that I believe could govern the conversation from the "Christian" worldview.
First, I am sorry that we use statements and phrases that no one really understands.
"come slay us"
"Jesus dwell inside us"
"Holy Spirit move"
"Just let go and let God"
"God won't give you more than you can handle"
I am sure there are LOTS more. But please understand, the Bible is a book full of metaphors and some of those show up in how we talk about God. I am sure that there are better ways to talk about God. Help us find out how to have that conversation better.
Second, you have to understand that my faith is absolutely central to me as a human being.
Lay aside all the creation/evolution, apologetics, and questions about those who have never heard about God in some foreign jungle for just a minute.
I believe that as humans we are drawn to the mysterious and unexplained realities of our life even in the modern world we live in. I believe that the story of God as laid out in the Scripture inspires me to embrace the tension of these unresolved questions. And I believe that my faith in that God strengthens me to endure incredible tragedy when there is no rational explanation.
So, when you attack my faith I will, of course, get defensive. It isn't personal - necessarily. But an attack on my faith is like cutting my heart out and not caring at all about the implications you've caused.
Third, living by faith means that I will do somethings that look crazy.
It doesn't mean that I AM crazy. It is the notion that when I live my life trusting that I know a God who will provide all my needs according to His riches in glory (which the Bible teaches) I will step out and do and say things that defy logic at times. I am not trying to be "weird." I am trying to be faithful.
From my perspective, men and women who do great things and make great differences live by something that is different than logic. They live by conviction. It would seem to me that this is becoming a lost art in our world. And yet those who accomplish great things still have a drive to live motivated by something greater than what we see here and now.
There is a better tomorrow. And my conviction is that when I choose to make decisions based on my convictions regardless of the cost, I help the whole world take one more step toward that better tomorrow.
Yes, I agree that there have been atrocities done in the name of Jesus. And I also believe that those who have leveraged God in order to build their own personal kingdoms will stand before God accountable for that foolish decision. But that doesn't mean that there is no benefit to living by convictions and faith. Throwing the baby to with the bath water makes no sense.
Fourth, I agree that some of the meanest people we know call themselves Christians.
And I am sorry. I am sorry for their actions, their mean words, and their careless attitudes. And while I try to be a good person, just like you, I have been the one at times that has hurt those around me. I am human. I wish I wasn't, but I am. And I am prone to make mistakes. Please forgive me. I am trying.
That being said, that which is worth living for is not given or robbed of validity because of those who choose to not obey it. People can put whatever label on themselves that they choose. Just because you call yourself giraffe doesn't make you one. So rather than trying to decide whether or not a worldview is valuable based on those who call themselves its followers, I would invite you to consider that there are those who do incredible selfless acts of kindness and generosity in the name of Jesus. These actions make the world a better place and are done from a pure heart.
Fifth, The God I love is pulling for our success. He is not mad.
Perceptions of God abound in our culture. And while there are famous preachers and teachers who would invite you to see God as angry at you because of the foolish mistakes you have made (and who wouldn't want to follow that god???) (sarcasm), I believe that the Bible reveals a very different God. He is for you. And again and again the Bible makes sure that you know God is about the redemption of all things, not destruction of evil people.
I want you to know this God. So don't be mad at me when I share my faith with you. I am doing this because I love you… and so does He.
Sixth, The God I love is walking right along side us. He helps us make choices that have a much larger and longer impact than just this moment.
And by the way, this gives me peace regardless of my circumstances. I can rest in the grace of a God who is for me, and with me. He has got this regardless of what pain I am facing on the surface.
Which raises the question about family members and friends that we prayed for and God didn't do what we wanted and so now we are mad so we try to say that we don't believe in Him, but what we mean is that we want to let Him know how disappointed we are that He didn't do what I asked for.
I can relate to this feeling. But my God isn't holding out on me. He know things I don't know. He sees things I don't see. And no matter what anyone tells you, this life here and now is neither the end nor the optimal existence.
Seventh, (and last) The God I love is ahead of us pulling us toward something better.
My firm conviction is that regardless of the pain we are in now, and that pain is real, there is a new morning coming. We will be just fine.
Pain is real. And the longer I am in ministry and I hear the pain of people's stories and how they have carried that pain for years, I am honored to be in the presence of such fortitude. I don't know how they get out of bed in the morning. I am sure I could not.
But pain also isn't the end. The rules of every great story is that right in the middle of the story, everything has to fall apart. If that doesn't happen at all, it is a boring story. If it happens at the end, it is just a tragedy ( I hated Romeo and Juliet for that reason). So everyday, I have to decide… Is my life a tragedy or a great story. The knowledge that my God is ahead of me pulling me to something better is key in helping me tell a good story with my life.
For my Christian friends, please add to the list. Add more foolish Christian phrases and more tenets of the discussion that you would think are necessary.
For my non-Christian friends, do the same. Let's compare the list and see if in the midst of all this, we can't find hope together.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
new tech features...
http://www.blogdash.com/full_profile/?claim_code=c04fa39176ec47e6cd77c76760b9c9b2
Please disregard this post… it is a technical upgrade.
Please disregard this post… it is a technical upgrade.
Monday, November 4, 2013
blog-o-therapy #2 - Expectations...
http://careynieuwhof.com/2013/11/5-unusual-ways-ministry-leaders-struggle-with-god/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-unusual-ways-ministry-leaders-struggle-with-god
So this blog post is pretty good. And true. I have found myself in each of the places mentioned within the article.
And it raises the question… Why do I let myself get there? I would never let someone that I am counseling believe these lies about their situation. I would explain a loving God who is generous and purposeful to His core. I would offer a God who loves without condition and encourage them with words of Scripture that are profound and moving.
So why, then, as soon as something happens that is difficult in my ministry do I find myself searching my last few days trying to find the reason for why God is allowing this terrible thing to happen to me? More succinctly, why would God allow this terrible thing to happen to such a wonderful guy like me?
And maybe that is the point… The assumption that I carry is that I really am all that wonderful (just ask me), and that being wonderful deserves a certain kind of treatment from God.
Expectations suck!
I expect that if I am "doing well" with God (whatever that means) then the church will grow. I expect that when it isn't moving along at the rate it should, the reason is all about me. I expect that God is going to protect me from the pain of life. I expect that everyone around me is going to eventually see the world just the way I do. And those who see it differently are either wrong or stubborn. And I expect that if I am going to give you pieces of my heart as a friend or a family member, you must see everything just like me.
And if any of those expectations are not met, well then I am very busy right now and don't have time to be with you. And I expect you'll understand and be okay with that. I am a pastor after all. There are lots of demands on my really important job.
I sound really gross. Would I even like to hang out with me? To be honest, I don't really like hanging out with me. And maybe that is why I expect you to be or act a certain way and why I expect God to be or act certain ways and when He or you interrupt the patterns of my expectations, I don't have a frame of reference for that. Maybe some part of my relationships with others and God is about a test of whether or not I am okay based on whether or not you think I am.
Maybe I use pain to validate a skewed perspective of how the world around me is supposed to function.
What do you think? What are some of your expectations of God and others?
So this blog post is pretty good. And true. I have found myself in each of the places mentioned within the article.
And it raises the question… Why do I let myself get there? I would never let someone that I am counseling believe these lies about their situation. I would explain a loving God who is generous and purposeful to His core. I would offer a God who loves without condition and encourage them with words of Scripture that are profound and moving.
So why, then, as soon as something happens that is difficult in my ministry do I find myself searching my last few days trying to find the reason for why God is allowing this terrible thing to happen to me? More succinctly, why would God allow this terrible thing to happen to such a wonderful guy like me?
And maybe that is the point… The assumption that I carry is that I really am all that wonderful (just ask me), and that being wonderful deserves a certain kind of treatment from God.
Expectations suck!
I expect that if I am "doing well" with God (whatever that means) then the church will grow. I expect that when it isn't moving along at the rate it should, the reason is all about me. I expect that God is going to protect me from the pain of life. I expect that everyone around me is going to eventually see the world just the way I do. And those who see it differently are either wrong or stubborn. And I expect that if I am going to give you pieces of my heart as a friend or a family member, you must see everything just like me.
And if any of those expectations are not met, well then I am very busy right now and don't have time to be with you. And I expect you'll understand and be okay with that. I am a pastor after all. There are lots of demands on my really important job.
I sound really gross. Would I even like to hang out with me? To be honest, I don't really like hanging out with me. And maybe that is why I expect you to be or act a certain way and why I expect God to be or act certain ways and when He or you interrupt the patterns of my expectations, I don't have a frame of reference for that. Maybe some part of my relationships with others and God is about a test of whether or not I am okay based on whether or not you think I am.
Maybe I use pain to validate a skewed perspective of how the world around me is supposed to function.
What do you think? What are some of your expectations of God and others?
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