http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
So, first of all, if you haven't watched these TED talks yet, #1 - you have been under a rock and #2 - you need you watch these. Vulnerability first and Shame second.
I have watched these and revisited them over the past year and a half. Each time I watch these videos I get different things out of them. There are many layers to what is being said and as I journey through my own awakening to the world around me and God's magnificent, redemptive plan for it all it opens up new parts that spark new internal conversations. And now we have the impetus for the next few blog posts.
I am thinking about going to therapy. I like counseling. It has proven at times to be very beneficial in my life. But maybe with your help, I can be "therapied" (apparently I just made that word up, or at least spell checker thinks so). So, I will present some internal battles and see where it goes. Maybe together we can unlock some pieces of each other that lead to more and better pieces of those around us and ultimately a truer version of who our God is.
My approach is to not so much present an argument or present a thesis that sways the masses. It will be more about teeing up a topic and giving some random thoughts around this topic that are true of me. So, picture me in your office, ready for therapy. Help me out... Am I crazy? Does this resonate with you?
Topic #1 - I want to be big and small at the same time.
I love influence and taking people on a journey of discovery and growth. I love opening up new worlds for people to explore. And I love watching people achieve more than they ever thought they could. That awakening moment for them is the reason I get up in the morning.
Here is the twist... With increased influence comes the possibility of increased disagreement. And I have discovered that I love having just enough influence to allow me to manage the amount of disagreement I have to deal with. It allows me to "fly under the radar." And it allows me to share my dreams and critique other people's perspective without having to actually be the one on the chopping block.
It seems that reality demands that I must go to both places or neither place. In other words, as Brene Brown says, you cannot selectively numb. If I choose to avoid the critique, then I choose to avoid influence. I cannot selectively avoid one side or the other.
So I know that,.... And yet I do not want to "go there."
How can I be willing to open up myself to critique because it also opens me up to the possibility of what gets me up in the morning? And I know that robbing myself of critique is robbing myself my created purpose. I know it, but it scares me.
I have been wounded. And I am still standing. I am still okay. I am still here. And yet, I am still scared to death...
Help me out.
