I don't always have much that is profound to write. I am just pondering or still considering the issues faced in the last post. So, it is always a challenge to come up with something that I at least believe is worth giving up the 15 minutes you will sacrifice to read this. Today is one of those days. I don't have anything of particular significance to write about. And in the spirit of nothing to say, I thought I would just write down a few words about where God has me in my own growth and how I am seeing it play out.
So here is the question I am wrestling with… How does God change us?
Set the theological constructs aside for a minute and consider the question. God and I have amazing conversations. And by amazing conversations, I mean that I talk a lot and He listens. And He reassures me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And He reminds me that I am in His grip. And He gently whispers to me that I am never out of the reach of His mighty arm.
And then, I still act insecure and fearful. I act as if I am alone and betrayed. I act as though I had never acknowledged God's promises as true to begin with.
Then I come to another amazing conversation. And He reassures me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And He reminds me that I am in His grip… And so on… And His loving kindness always trumps the conversation.
And then a good friend shared something with me one day… How does God change me? His loving kindness.
And I wept.
For all my foolishness and fear, God's invitation is to love what He put in me as much as He does. And God simply and continually reaffirms the goodness and potential of what He knit into my soul in my mother's womb.
And this powerful truth changes me somehow. I can rest in what God has made me rather than seeing it as a curse or a problem.
But it raises another question… How am I doing at reflecting that loving kindness to others? And here, it gets real sticky, real quick.
Like many people, I struggle to "listen to others without agenda." What I mean is, too often I find myself already giving a person direction on how to "fix" their problem before I have even truly heard what the real problem is.
My same friend said it this way - When you listen to truly understand someone, you make money. When you talk, you spend it. That is a bit of a dagger in my heart considering what I do for a living - I teach, I talk, I direct, I lead.
But I want to listen more. I want to fight to truly understand those around me better. And as with my conversations with God, the more I practice this idea, something changes in me.
So here is my tactic… maybe you can try it on and see how it goes. No promise from me about the outcome. I am still on this journey as well. When someone talks to me, all I do is fight for clarity. No agenda, no leading, no "fixing", no help - just listening to understand. Fighting for clarity.
This isn't some parroting back exercise either. It is not counseling nor is it a "technique to get people to move." It is simply trying to act like God acts in my amazing conversations with Him. Listen a lot. Work to truly understand. And invite people to consider the truth of who they are from God's vantage point.
What I am beginning to uncover - this is like nuclear power in my life, and the lives of those I care enough about to truly fight to understand. The power is not in my ideas, or fixes, or "help." But the power lies in truly feeling "heard" and understood by another human being. And it ties into something deeper in a person than I have ever experienced. This eternal piece of us that longs to be unleashed and set free. And it unlocks and transforms places in our lives where we would have otherwise felt stuck.
And again, God reaffirms to me that I cannot separate loving Him and loving people.
Try it on and let me know what happens. No fixing, no counseling, just listening for understanding.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Being Jesus to Christians...
I know I will take some flack for this one… it is okay. I choose grace.
Recently, Mark Driscoll made a video for HIS church family (not everyone in the world, even though we all seem to want to see it). In it, he talked about some of the things going on with Mars Hill in "this season of the church."
My summation: along the way, he has made some enemies because of how he has conducted himself in banter on all kinds of topics from women's rolls to doctrine to contemporary issues to the treatment of some of his staff.
Let me state for the record - I think he was wrong for HOW he did what he did.
Many of those who are God followers have responded with "an eye for an eye". He deserves to be treated the same way he treated others. The "punishment must fit the crime." Tit for tat. However you want to put it, many who would say that they are motivated, awakened, and changed by the love of Jesus have responded in kind in trying to make sure that he understands the depth of the hurt and damage that he has caused.
The concern I have - the reason we get so upset at him for the abrupt words and positions that he has used over the years is that we believe that in Christ, no one should be treated that way - no one. Jesus says - even an enemy.
Now to the point - He is repenting, and trying to fix it. And the truth is, that takes a lot of character. No matter what any of us might think about him as a person, I admire that he has really exposed his mistake and been vulnerable about the whole issue.
So, I have a few thoughts I would like to share that I hope would help all of us who are in the Christian community with the chance to process this series of events with other believers.
1. If you have been personally wounded and/or offended by Mark, I am sorry. I don't pretend to know what all has gone on in really any of the conversations and issues that have happened.
That being said, I am absolutely confident that airing dirty laundry on a social media is not in line with any form of how Jesus said that we who say we follow Him are to deal with conflict.
2. Whether or not we believe that ANY Christian leader should be in a leadership position, it is the Lord who sets up kings and tears down kingdoms. I would submit David's conversation with Abishai concerning the chance to kill Saul in his sleep, "Who am I to touch the Lord's anointed?"
The fact is whether or not any of us thinks someone should be in a position of influence is of absolutely no consequence. God gave that person their position of influence whether I think it is a good idea or not. And my ability to come to terms with that says more about me and my relationship to God than it does about any leader. This is His world and He can take care of it in His way and His time. My job is to trust His story and be faithful in my own life.
Our task is to pray for those who are in that position because it is in all our best interest if they do well, not if they "pay for their mistakes."
3. When we beat someone up for confessing sin, we keep them from wanting to confess again. The church is a place of healing and redemption, not a place of making someone pay.
And for many of you who are barking the loudest, you work in churches or are a part of church families where broken people (including you) come to church every week. If the response of anger and venom and vindication that is being portrayed becomes known to your people, it will not only shape their ability to respect christian leaders, but it will also keep them quiet about their own sin, even if it is not connected to the issue that is out front.
4. "It is mine to avenge, I will repay says the Lord." Do you believe that?
I want to say again, I do not agree in any way with what Driscoll said in many places and how he said it was abrasive and terse to put it kindly. However, being Jesus in those circumstances has to mean that I do not hold the anger and pain of those things against him.
"For though he was reviled against, He reviled not." This is Jesus, and it should be you.
I am excited to see a Christian leader with the guts to at least admit that he has dirty laundry and that he is at least trying to clean it up. When was the last time we saw that happen? And if we don't lovingly forgive and show the grace we have been given, then we will keep that from happening in more christian leaders down the road.
And as a pastor, I know that I am not perfect, and that I need permission to be able to confess and repent without the fear of being ridiculed and demeaned. No one should ever agree with me sinning, but my hope is that we can begin to love and forgive enough that other leaders feel like they can get their junk on the table as well.
If you want to see Jesus do something amazing in the U.S., I think it begins from this posture.
Our response really isn't even about Mark Driscoll or any other single christian leader. It is about creating an environment where sinners get forgiven and people are set free. It is about all of us - especially you.
Recently, Mark Driscoll made a video for HIS church family (not everyone in the world, even though we all seem to want to see it). In it, he talked about some of the things going on with Mars Hill in "this season of the church."
My summation: along the way, he has made some enemies because of how he has conducted himself in banter on all kinds of topics from women's rolls to doctrine to contemporary issues to the treatment of some of his staff.
Let me state for the record - I think he was wrong for HOW he did what he did.
Many of those who are God followers have responded with "an eye for an eye". He deserves to be treated the same way he treated others. The "punishment must fit the crime." Tit for tat. However you want to put it, many who would say that they are motivated, awakened, and changed by the love of Jesus have responded in kind in trying to make sure that he understands the depth of the hurt and damage that he has caused.
The concern I have - the reason we get so upset at him for the abrupt words and positions that he has used over the years is that we believe that in Christ, no one should be treated that way - no one. Jesus says - even an enemy.
Now to the point - He is repenting, and trying to fix it. And the truth is, that takes a lot of character. No matter what any of us might think about him as a person, I admire that he has really exposed his mistake and been vulnerable about the whole issue.
So, I have a few thoughts I would like to share that I hope would help all of us who are in the Christian community with the chance to process this series of events with other believers.
1. If you have been personally wounded and/or offended by Mark, I am sorry. I don't pretend to know what all has gone on in really any of the conversations and issues that have happened.
That being said, I am absolutely confident that airing dirty laundry on a social media is not in line with any form of how Jesus said that we who say we follow Him are to deal with conflict.
2. Whether or not we believe that ANY Christian leader should be in a leadership position, it is the Lord who sets up kings and tears down kingdoms. I would submit David's conversation with Abishai concerning the chance to kill Saul in his sleep, "Who am I to touch the Lord's anointed?"
The fact is whether or not any of us thinks someone should be in a position of influence is of absolutely no consequence. God gave that person their position of influence whether I think it is a good idea or not. And my ability to come to terms with that says more about me and my relationship to God than it does about any leader. This is His world and He can take care of it in His way and His time. My job is to trust His story and be faithful in my own life.
Our task is to pray for those who are in that position because it is in all our best interest if they do well, not if they "pay for their mistakes."
3. When we beat someone up for confessing sin, we keep them from wanting to confess again. The church is a place of healing and redemption, not a place of making someone pay.
And for many of you who are barking the loudest, you work in churches or are a part of church families where broken people (including you) come to church every week. If the response of anger and venom and vindication that is being portrayed becomes known to your people, it will not only shape their ability to respect christian leaders, but it will also keep them quiet about their own sin, even if it is not connected to the issue that is out front.
4. "It is mine to avenge, I will repay says the Lord." Do you believe that?
I want to say again, I do not agree in any way with what Driscoll said in many places and how he said it was abrasive and terse to put it kindly. However, being Jesus in those circumstances has to mean that I do not hold the anger and pain of those things against him.
"For though he was reviled against, He reviled not." This is Jesus, and it should be you.
I am excited to see a Christian leader with the guts to at least admit that he has dirty laundry and that he is at least trying to clean it up. When was the last time we saw that happen? And if we don't lovingly forgive and show the grace we have been given, then we will keep that from happening in more christian leaders down the road.
And as a pastor, I know that I am not perfect, and that I need permission to be able to confess and repent without the fear of being ridiculed and demeaned. No one should ever agree with me sinning, but my hope is that we can begin to love and forgive enough that other leaders feel like they can get their junk on the table as well.
If you want to see Jesus do something amazing in the U.S., I think it begins from this posture.
Our response really isn't even about Mark Driscoll or any other single christian leader. It is about creating an environment where sinners get forgiven and people are set free. It is about all of us - especially you.
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